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| For anyone trying to get in contact with me--- aim: freyahecate myspace: http://www.myspace.com/nightcrawler25 yahoo: mysticaldreams25 msn/email: mysticaldragonwitch@hotmail.com Happy Thanksgiving everyone.. And to all my friends from TN I'm coming to visit you either around New Years or summer because I'm checking out colleges up there. ^.^ | | |
| Once in a while when you actually stop to think-- where is my life going? where will i be in 5 years? will i ever find someone to love and share my passion for paganism and darkness with? The results are extremely depressing. All I've ever wanted was someone to love me for me and stay. I look at all these couples that have been together for years on end-- and i begin to think that i shall never have something like that. I guess we all want that ideal relationship but for some of us-- it just doesn't happen-- nor ever will. I don't know anymore.. Sometimes I just don't feel like living at all then other times its completely opposite. I feel like I'm bipolar or something. It might just be that I'm human. Another thing that sucks is, theres only two people that I would stop everything or break up with anyone just to be with them. But one of them is a gay guy, and the other (a chick) is in a really great relationship with a dude. I'm secretly hoping she'll break up with him because I would so ask her out again in a heartbeat. As far as the gay dude-- well we all know thats not gonna happen. But for now, I'm having to settle for second best. Push my feelings aside for them and act like those feelings don't even exist. Not to mention, since i know i can't possibly be with those two-- I've sorta moved on.. There's this guy at my work that I'd kill to date-- not my ultimate dream guy but he's pretty damn close. I know he likes me-- I just don't know how much. Thats why I'm having Bobby have a man to man talk with him to figure it out. Because if he doesnt like like me-- theres no use in holding on to him, ya know? w/e I don't care. I'm sick of not having someone to love-- w/e I'm only 16 i have my whole life-- i know.. but i guess I'll live Love you all, Cilla | | |
| Well.. Alot has happened and i Mean alot..
I went to STATES!!! it was sooo sweet.. >.<!! I almost cried.. Well, I'm turning 16 in a month.. I'm sooo excited.. I can finally get a job.. I'm hoping I can update in this thing more often.. I forgot all about it until I went on my Witchvox account and noticed i had the link up.. ahehehehe I saw RENT a few weeks ago.. It's the most amazing movie I've ever seen in my life.. Wow.. I feel like I'm so disconnected to my friends in Tennessee.. it's killing me because I've been so busy with Drama and Chorus rehearsal.. And I still have to plan my birthday party.. goodness.. I'm too busy for my own good.. It's sad.. I *had* to buy myself a pocketbook lol!!! Well anywho.. Love wise.. that's another story.. I'll post that later.. xD I have to remember how to use these thing again!!! Well
Much love..
Aradia | | |
| gosh.. i could write all day about how crappy my day has been.. -shrugs- i have better things to do! hehe.. basically im really getting pissed at this chick im doing a ensemble acting scene with for districts because she never wants to rehearse... it annoys the hell outta me cuz she'll be like "oh yeah i'll rehearse just let me do this" so i nod and tell her to make it snappy then she runs off with her damn boyfriend and makes out with him and never shows up for rehearsal..all 3 of us decided to rehearse at least 1 time a week and she keeps messing it up.. then i go to my other rehearsal and the directors play favorites and its not right.. because i could do it so much better than what the one girl is doing and itll look so much better and rawr!!!!!!!!!! just forget it!!!! noone ever gives me a chance! i have talent and and they wont let me show it.. and and they wont let me! ahhhhhh! give me a damn chance!!!!!!!!!!!! i can do it! rawr! and then the other chick im doing duet scene with doesnt wanna rehearse either and my-golly WE'RE NEVER GONNA GET THIS STUFF DONE AND DOWN GOOD IF WE DONT FREAKING REHEARSE!!!!!!!!! RAWRRRRRRRRRR!!! DISTRICTS IS A BIG THING TO ME AND I WANNA DO GREAT AND GO TO STATE AND I DONT CARE WHAT I HAVE TO DO TO GET THERE! GOD! -takes a deep breathe- i cant wait till im out on my own..
Pissed off and Irritated,
Cilla | | |
| Well.. Where do i start? I went to callbacks and i totally screwed up.. Lets see, I went up to do a reading and I lost my place so many times. Then I was dancing and i fell and slid half way across the stage. So I got back up and I started dancing again. Then it hit me that I fucked up big time and I ran off the stage and started crying because i was extremely disappointed in myself. Then I became even more disappointed when I went back in to continue dancing and everyone was done.. So I walked over to the dance lady and she was talking with ms.weaguely and the chorus lady and I politely asked the dance lady if she would mind helping me alone so i could get the moves down. And ms.weaguely was like "oh we're done with this part" and she asked if i was okay and i told her that i was really disappointed in myself and she told me not to be and blah blah blah. Then, come today i was anxieous to see the cast list to see if i had a part even though i doubted it and tj, taylor, drew and i went to the drama room and found out we had to go on a scavenger hunt just to find the list.. so we ran around the auditorium reading clues and such and we found out it was on the chorus room door. i go i read the list and i relize my name wasnt on it.. i was so disappointed and i didnt believe it so i read over it again and it still wasnt there. then i went to get my stuff congradulating the cast and such and i went back one more time to be sure.. then i started walking home ignoring everyone and once i got off school property i just started crying becuz i know why i didnt get the part.. i got home and dried my tears ate.. and got on the computer.. so here i am now typing up in this stupid xanga trying to cheer up.. although chris did tell me "The Goddess didn't want you to be pulled down by such a small role. Besides. Watch, sometime soon, an even better role will come along for you to grasp. And that small role would've gotten in the way of it -pokes.-so cheer up miss future actress." which cheered me up somewhat -grins- i love my friends.
heh.. what a day..
what a life..
Hidden Within the depths of your heart,
Priscilla | | |
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